Peace, Love, and Marshmallows: Three Kinds of Support to Get from Your Beloved
By Jacey Eckhart
I think we can agree the only reason marshmallows exist is to bond Rice Krispies together in a miraculous transformation of the ordinary into the mystical. Seriously, if I were moments from death and my choice was morphine or Rice Krispies treats, I would take the morphine, but I would seriously be tempted by the Rice Krispies treats.
That’s why during a Next Door Project, I am always hoping my husband is about to give me peace, love, and/or marshmallows. Because I’m needy. And adorably squirrel-like. And, I ask.
No matter how obvious it is that you are having a tough time during your significant life change, you still have to ask for support, so you might as well ask for what really helps a bad day get better: peace, love, and marshmallows.
Peace is what you need when everyone in the family wants something different for dinner. Peace is not arguing for once over whose turn it is to take the kids to school or put another load in the washing machine or whether almond butter is really more nutritious than peanut butter. Peace is what your partner offers when even the little hassles are too much for you to handle that bad day. Peace often comes with the cool side of a pillow. Or, you know, a beverage.
Love is a verb during a Next Door Project. Love is what your partner does for you without expecting anything in return. It is the tenderness your partner feels for you when they see you putting up a valiant fight in order to make a mighty change. So, love is someone else vacuuming your car after you have been eating popcorn on the way home from work. Love asks if you want a cold drink, or sends a kissy face emoji when you are being particularly touchy, or pats your shoulder when your anxieties are talking in your sleep. Sometimes, love even listens to you hash out your fears and anxieties and premonitions one more ridiculous time. And gives hugs. Hugs are good.
When two ordinary people have been together a long, good time, marshmallows are those miraculous spontaneous moments of teeth-rattling sweetness that transform the two of you into a couple. I don’t know what your marshmallow moments look like, but one Army couple told me at an event in Seattle last month that they always offer each other the last bite of whatever good thing they are eating. “Because the last bite is the best bite.” Sweet!
No matter how hard you try, your significant life change is going to rattle you sometimes. A partner offering support in the form of peace, love, and marshmallows goes a long way to making things better. If that doesn’t work, I recommend Rice Krispies treats every time.